


stick it out together like we always do

by bbyfruit



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Best Friends being Best Friends, Coming Out, Gender, Nonbinary Mikael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 21:56:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13556382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyfruit/pseuds/bbyfruit
Summary: even and mikael navigate the new territory of their friendship together





	stick it out together like we always do

**Author's Note:**

> title from bros by wolf alice

When Mikael comes over, there’s a certain smell that filters through the air of the apartment. It’s a weird mixture of Old Spice and weed and nail polish and Even breathes it in until it fills his lungs and he’s so incredibly grateful that his best friend is back. And Mikael’s back, not as easy as the way it used to be, but new and old mixed together.

Their knees knock together under the table.

The old exists in the way Mikael speaks to him, laughing through his words and mumbling with his eyes half closed, and the new is the way Mikael is careful not to let their hands brush. It hurts Even’s heart, makes his chest throb, but he understands.

Mikael runs his hands through his hair on a Tuesday afternoon. 

“I miss you,” Even blurts out.

Mikael starts in surprise. “I’m here,” he says, uncertain, like he knows that’s not what Even means.

Shifting in his seat, Even considers his next words a little more carefully. “It’s not the same, though. I miss you being my best friend on earth. I miss you being the person that I knew everything about and who knew everything about me.”

“We haven’t been like that for a long time,” Mikael answers with a sad smile.

Even shrugs. “God,” he says, “I wish we were twelve again.”

Mikael lets out a laugh at that, his grin bright and happy. “Wanna have a sleepover and share secrets?”

And he knows that Mikael’s probably kidding, but he nods anyways because that’s what he wants.

He’s trying to be more honest. 

* * *

They end up at Mikael’s house, stretched out on his floor eating pizza like the old days, and Even can’t help but notice that Mikael’s bedroom hasn’t changed.

“How’s your man?” Mikael teases with tomato sauce dripping out of the corner of his mouth. 

Even can’t help the smile across his face. “He’s good. Too good for me, actually. What about you? Any girls in your life? Or guys,” he adds, eyeing Mikael. 

“I don’t even know what gender I am,” Mikael answers casually, reaching for another slice, “so I can’t see how I’d know what gender to date.”

And that catches Even’s attention like nothing else. It’s a confession, Mikael sharing something with him, reminding him of nights huddled under Even’s blankets and nights with arms spread on deserted playgrounds and it’s Mikael being his best friend.

“What do you mean?” Even asks cautiously.

Mikael leans back on his elbows. “Like, I feel completely detached from being a boy. I just… feel kind of sick when people call me a man. God, that sounds fucking weird.”

“No, I get that,” Even says, shifting his weight as he considers Mikael’s words. “I mean, I personally believe gender is fake as fuck, but I really love, like, presenting more traditionally feminine?”

“If you’re about to tell me about your sex life, I’ll kick you out,” Mikael warns.

“Jesus, Mik,” Even says through his laughter, and Mikael kicks at his thigh. “No, yeah. I just mean that I like the idea of wearing dresses or nail polish or anything like that but I still think I’m a man.”

Mikael thinks for a second. “So for you it’s more about presentation than any actual gender?” he asks.

“Yeah, I guess. What about you?”

Shaking his head, Mikael chews at his bottom lip. “I like presenting differently,” he says slowly, “but I think that for me it’s more than that. I’m not a girl, but I’m not a boy either, if that makes sense? I just… want to  _ be _ .”

“Hey, Mikael?” Even says, his voice gentle as he looks at his best friend across from him.

“Yeah?”

“That makes sense to me.”

The smile that Mikael gives him then makes everything that they’ve been through worth it.

“Okay,” Even continues a few minutes later, “can I, like, use some of your nail polish?”

Mikael lights up at the suggestion. “Oh, my God, yeah,” he says, scrambling up and opening a drawer across the room. “I have red, like three shades of blue, black, and purple.”

“Light blue?” Even asks nervously. His heart is thudding in his chest and he doesn’t know why.

“Have you ever painted your nails before?” Mikael asks as he sits down.

“No,” Even admits.

Mikael flips his hair back dramatically. “I’ll do it, then, because you’ll fuck it up and waste half of my polish.”

And, yeah, that’s fair, because Even’s an artist but he likes big canvases and charcoal with loose strokes, not tiny brushes and small, stubby surface area.

Mikael sticks his tongue out when he’s concentrating, something he’s done since they were kids and he almost bit it off when he fell off the monkey bars, something he’s done since they were teenagers and he couldn’t figure out his English homework and Even had to help him, and something he’s doing now with Even’s fingers held between his own and blue brushstrokes spread evenly across Even’s nails.

Even’s heart beats faster with the first bit of paint.

“I don’t know why I’m nervous,” he murmurs, mostly to himself.

Mikael answers anyways. “Because it’s different,” he says matter-of-factly. “And it’s not a big deal to a lot of people, but it’s a big deal to us.”

He keeps painting, and when he’s done with Even’s left hand, he sits back to admire his work. “Don’t touch anything,” he commands, and Even freezes with his hand halfway up to his hair where it’s flopping into his eyes.

Mikael paints the other hand and Even finds it easier to breathe, prettier to look at, and he can’t stop staring at the light blue on his fingers.

* * *

“What do you think about pronouns?” Mikael whispers right as Even’s falling asleep on the floor beside Mikael’s bed.

“Hm?”

“Pronouns.”

Even rolls over and opens his eyes to the darkness. “Dunno,” he mumbles. “I think I like being called he, but I don’t really connect it to gender.”

“Yeah,” Mikael whispers.

Even can tell that Mikael still has something to say so he waits, stays awake and listens to the way Mikael’s breath hitches right before he says, “I think I want to try different pronouns.”

“Yeah?” Even prompts.

“Yeah.”

Even hears Mikael shift and pull the covers up more, and Even rolls over so that he’s facing Mikael’s bed, even though he can’t see Mikael.

“So who are you?” Even asks gently. 

“They?”

Even smiles at the way Mikael sounds a little uncertain, but solid, and he takes a second to adjusts his thought patterns.

“I’m at Mikael’s house and they won’t shut up and let me sleep,” he says, testing it out. Mikael laughs and it makes Even warm inside, warm like honey and sunshine and life.

* * *

It’s a tradition, really, after that. Even and Mikael eat pizza and paint each other’s nails (Even’s getting better, alright?) and talk about everything from gender to math to religion. They talk about their shared past and where they both went wrong and Even cries. They talk about their futures and Mikael says they see themself loving a man and they cry. Even holds them.

And it’s not like it used to be, but Even’s starting to realise that he never wanted it to be the same. He just wanted his best friend. He wanted late nights and someone to text when Isak was getting on his nerves and someone to go with him to the store when he buys his own nail polish for the first time, pale yellow and Mikael pushes him to the register.

“I’m not a boy,” Mikael tells the whole group of boys, with their voice wavering and Even keeps his hand solid on their back.

“Wait,” Mutta says, “are you nonbinary?”

Mikael shifts nervously, rolling their shoulders under Even’s hand. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Yo, that’s sick,” Elias nearly yells, lighting up with an idea, throwing his hands onto Yousef’s chest. “Would you be comfortable talking about it for a video?”

“Do you want us to use a different name for you?” Adam asks earnestly.

“Yes to the video,” Mikael says even though they’re chewing at their lip again, “and I’m okay with Mikael. But, like, I go by they pronouns?”

And all the boys nod and that’s it. 

Mikael and Even become  _ Mikael and Even  _ again, with shoulders bumping and passing soda bottles back and forth and joking, laughing, pushing each other to be better people, because they’re best friends.

Through it all, that’s Even’s best friend.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> cis? we don't know her


End file.
